You don't have to be a rocket scientist to make a sandwich

Pretty sure I was just about ready to jump off an overpass this afternoon but I figured with my luck I would probably just break my leg! The morning started out innocent enough. Taylor woke up in a seemingly good mood and I thought to myself "aahhhh... it's gonna be a fabulous day!" I had plans of ditching our typical school routine and taking Payton to the sibley learning center (a local educational nature walk). We all had breakfast, said our morning prayers, and did our bible study. I put on a phonics game on the computer for Payton to play as I got Taylor and myself ready. I glanced at my phone to see the time and noticed the date and the missed text message. Holy moly-it's FRIDAY! I had promised our vets office I would donate a few dozen cupcakes to their bake sale to benefit their non-profit organization to help animals in need. The text was from a girl who works at the office wondering if I had a chance to bring them up. Grrrrreat! I rummaged through my pantry praying to God I had some cake baking supplies. It was slim pickings but I would have to make do. By this time, Taylor's good mood was out the window and I had to bake with a baby on my hip. I set her down for a minute to play in the living room and dashed into the kitchen for fear I had burnt the cupcakes. I had dropped a plastic cutting board on the floor earlier while holding Tay but didn't pick it up because I was preoccupied. Yeah that came back and bit me in the ass-literally. I didn't see it and skated across the room pulling a muscle (or two) and landed clear on the other side of the kitchen on my butt. I hoisted myself up and snagged the cupcakes from the oven just in time. Apparently there was a hole in my oven mitt (I use them frequently) and as I removed the steaming cupcakes from the pan I burned my finger! I rummaged through the refrigerator sure I had some leftover icing but no luck. Joy now I have to make a batch! I ventured back to the pantry all the while mumbling vulgarities to retrieve icing supplies (again with a baby on my hip). I grabbed the shortening and accidentally knocked a can of green beans on my barefoot-OUCH. After it bounced off my throbbing toe, it landed on a small canister of hot pink icing color smashing it and sending dye in 20 directions all over my white tile where it remains at this moment. I finish the cupcakes right at lunch time and decide to go wash the powdered sugar out of my hair before delivering them. I turned the water on and began to climb in. I felt my foot slip out from under me and I grabbed a hold of the shower curtain hoping to steady myself. I ended up in the splits with the entire shower curtain over my head. I regain my composure, shower quickly, and then load the girls and the cupcakes in the car. The rest of the afternoon wasn't so unpleasant except the fact that Taylor was refusing her nap-AGAIN! Dave got home and we went to Barnes and Noble for a bit and it seemed like my bad day had come to an end. We decided to pick up Schlotzky's on our way home because I was in no mood to cook after the day of torture. I ordered my usual a ham and cheese original with NO mustard or onions and the same for Dave with no olives because the wierdo hates them! If you know me very well, you know that the sheer smell of mustard turns my stomach in knots and makes me want to hurl. We get home and unwrap our dinner-I'm STARVING by this point and what do I smell? Yeah you guessed it, MUSTARD and that's not all, there were crunchy onions on them too. Normally, I am very passive about this sort of thing but after the day I was having I felt like I deserved to have an edible version of our $15 worth of sandwiches. So I quickly googled the phone number and got the manager on the line. I explained the situation and he was very apologetic and said if we would come back he would make us some fresh sandwiches. Dave offered to retrieve them since I was stuck on the sofa feeding Taylor. 30 minutes later the new sandwiches arrived-yeah 30 freakin' minutes! "You checked them to make sure they didn't F* up again right?" I asked Dave. "No but they made them fresh while I waited and the manager read back the correct order to me. What are the odds of them messing up twice?" was his reply. I shrugged and skeptically held my breath as I unwrapped the replacement. Seriously? Seriously? WTF MUSTARD AND ONIONS AGAIN and this time they removed the olives from mine as well. I LOVE the damn olives! Now I am practically foaming at the mouth and ready to go on a shooting spree so I hit redial on my phone. This time I am not so nice. I recognized the managers voice on the other line. "Hi there" I said. "I sent my husband in to pick up replacement sandwiches because you guys had given me the wrong order and I just unwrapped them to discover that you guys screwed up again!" I am a nice person, I really am. How often have you heard me raise my voice-and to a perfect stranger for that matter!?!?? "What was wrong with the order?" the manager asked. I explained the mustard, onion, and lack of olive issue and he assured me that he had carefully informed his employees of the correct order. Now I am extra pissed. Really? As the manager you informed your employees of the correct order but didn't insure customer satisfaction!?!?!? "I would be glad to make you another sandwich if you want to come pick it up." Oh the straw that broke the camel's back. "Really?" I practically screamed. "You want me to get in my car and drive across town AGAIN because you screwed up AGAIN? This is your plan to rectify the situation?" I paused for a second waiting for a response but he was quite obviously not sure what to say. "I will just throw the sandwich away and eat a bowl of cereal but you should know that your staff is entirely incompetent. I mean seriously making a sandwich is NOT rocket science!" and with that I hung up and threw my phone on the sofa and then began to sob. No I'm not a complete fatty-I wasn't crying over the sandwich. But let us quickly recap the day shall we? Fall #1, rushed cupcakes, burnt finger, cranky baby, green beans on toe, cranky baby, pink color on the tile, fall #2, cranky baby, messed up sandwich #1, cranky baby, messed up sandwich #2. Okay so reflecting on the situation now I realize I was being slightly melodramatic and I may have been slightly tacky to the poor Schlotzky's manager but really how much more can a girl take in one day!?!!? That being said, I chose to polish off the last drops of sangria in my fridge for dinner and that seemed to relax me a bit and blogging about the atrocities of the day has also seemed to calm my nerves. I think I will bury my head in a book for a few until I am drowsy enough to sleep. Please God let tomorrow be better!