Astro turf-itis

I like to pretend that I'm an optimistic person but in reality I am quite the opposite. In fact I rarely even view the glass as half empty. Most of the time I feel like I served a tall glass of KoolAid and turned my back for just a second to serve a snack. When I turn back around to grab my beverage, I find that someone snuck up and drank the whole thing! I'm really trying to become an overall more positive person but lately I've really been struggling with what I call "AstroTurf-itis". I know what you're thinking... THIS woman just makes up her own psychological diseases! Well, yes, I guess I do. This is a good one though. I based this complex on a MySpace blog I wrote a few years back. It basically states that if you look across the street and think the grass is greener on the other side, it is probably AstroTurf. By this I just mean that everyone has their share of issues in their own life. It just may be that the tenant of that house across the way is envious of your flowerbeds blissfully unaware that they are filled with silk flowers. Lately, I've been looking around here thinking I need new furniture. Our neighbors got new furniture recently, I saw the Lacks delivery truck unloading it last week. I immediately started feeling sorry for myself. We really need more seating in our living room. Why can't WE afford new furniture? The Lord always has his subtle way of putting me in my place. I remembered later while curled up on our tiny sofa with Dave that my neighbor's husband works overseas. She practically raises their 3 children alone. She is probably sitting on her new love seat ALONE watching TV wishing that her husband was there to cuddle with her. I want a bigger car, I complain about it frequently. My car just isn't big enough for 2 car seats, a stroller, and groceries. I recently saw a woman and her 4 young children waiting at the bus stop with bags of groceries. At least I HAVE a car. It may be small, it may not be luxury, but it's fairly new and it runs. It gets me from point A to point B-what do I have to complain about? Some friends of the family bought a new house. An AMAZING new house in an AMAZING neighborhood. They seem to have the perfect life but I know her husband is having an affair. He won't touch his own wife. They sleep in separate bedrooms of their AMAZINGLY huge new home. My house is nice. It's not fabulous, and it still needs some work but, it's in good condition, in a good neighborhood, and most importantly my marriage is amazing. I trust my husband fully and he trusts me. We are more in love everyday. We have a strong solid relationship. Sure we fight but over trivial pointless things nothing life altering. I hear myself complain about Taylor crying non stop. She's such a difficult child I say quite often. I love her with all my heart don't get me wrong and I really just can't get enough of her adorable little face but sometimes she frustrates me enough that I actually COMPLAIN about her! What the heck! She could scream all day and all night for a year and I would still be thankful for her very existence. I know a woman who can't have children. She's miscarried 6 times and her doctor has finally said, enough is enough, you CANNOT carry a child full term-it's time to stop trying and explore other means of having a child. I cannot even begin to imagine that pain. I praise God daily for 2 amazing, wonderful, gorgeous, healthy children. Taylor can scream all she wants-she is still an incredible blessing. My mother once asked me if I was jealous that my sister could afford a fancy private school for my niece and I couldn't afford to send Payton to that same school. I almost laughed in her face. Am I jealous of her? Really? I home school my child. I taught her everything she knows. I get to spend ALL day with her. If you ask me, she should be the one who is jealous! No no... I'm not saying she's a bad mom for working and putting her child in an actual school I'm just saying I don't feel like Payton is missing out on anything. She learns everyday, she gets one on one attention, her teacher is ALWAYS on hand, she has playdates, soccer, and ballet for social interaction. She doesn't miss A THING! So now my friends here it comes... the point is as humans, we are all so incredibly ungrateful-and don't pretend to be the exception to the rule. We are all guilty of standing in our yards (metaphorically speaking) and pointing out how green our neighbors astro turf grass is, how much shade that huge plastic oak tree in HER yard provides, how HER silk flowers seem to bloom year round. Maybe just maybe we should look down from time to time, kick off our shoes, and enjoy how soft and cushy OUR own grass is. Fertilizer and lots of water is the key to a lovely lawn. Read the word of God and learn to be more appreciative of what YOU have. Forget all about what SHE/HE has. I spend more time worrying about money and matierial things than absolutely necessary. Sometimes I forget all that I already have and all that has been promised to me.

Matthew 6:25 "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?