Active Duty

When Dave and I met 2 years ago, he had just been discharged from the Army. Even though I didn't really know him through the Army years, I have always been very proud of my soldier. Even though, I didn't experience the effects of him being in Iraq, just seeing the pictures, and reading the letters to/from family brings me to tears. Just thinking of him in the midst of all this danger makes me physically ill. So even though I have always declared being a proud Army wife, I never really wanted to re-visit that era in his life. Yesterday my mother in law called to inform me that we had a package from the Army that had been delivered to her house. We often get mail over there so I said, we would swing by and pick it up after dinner. When we got there, she handed Dave a manila envelope from the Army, it had been sent priority overnight so we knew it wasn't GOOD news. As he started reading the 1st sheet, I grabbed the 2nd identical sheet and begin to read. I didn't quite understand what I was reading the first time around. I think my heart was beating in my chest too loudly to think clearly. Were my worst nightmares coming true? I took a deep breath and read it through again. "You are relieved from your present reserve status and ordered to report for a period of active duty" blah...blah...blah "report date: February 14" happy valentine's day, blah...blah...blah "deployment" blah...blah...blah "400 days" blah... blah... blah. The room started spinning. Dave was talking, his parents were talking, the room, WAS SPINNING. I put the paper down and walked to the other room hoping it would all go away. When I returned the room continued to spin and Dave put his arm around me and lead me to the truck. I don't remember saying bye to his parents. We won't know the exact orders until he reports for duty in February but if he is found to meet "deployment medical standards" he will likely be spending a year in Afghanistan. IF he meets medical standards that is. Dave has a piece of metal in his head/neck from Iraq and so I'm praying at this point that's enough to keep him out of deployment. The next 60 days will be agonizing until we know what is going to happen for sure. Even him leaving the day after his birthday to be there on Valentines day for testing/processing breaks my heart because besides the obvious, he will also be missing Taylor's 1st birthday on the 17th. If he gets deployed she will be 2 when he gets home and Payton will be in Kindergarten. I will have raised our kids for a whole year by myself! I'm so devastated right now. We have only spent ONE night apart in almost 2 years now and the thought of sleeping without him for a year brings my physical pain. I feel so sick right now. Please keep us in your prayers and PRAY that the metal in his head is enough to keep him home with the kids and I. My heart goes out to all the mothers who have their husbands overseas. There is just a possibility that my husband will go and I'm already crying non stop!