A weekend at FT. LEONARDWOOD

I've always been afraid to travel alone, Especially with 2 kiddos! I have a whole lotta NO sense of direction and traffic makes my anxiety flare. But, I thought about the fact that I have a whole 400 days without Dave ahead of me and I don't want to be confined to my house in Midland the whole time. So, I've decided to venture out of my comfort zone as often as possible. First on the list, I packed the kids up a few weekends ago to visit one of my besties Christi & her hubby Aaron in San Angelo. I had to start the traveling out on a small scale okay!??! lol We had a lovely weekend and will definetly be doing that more often!

Last week (after the big "playroom" project), I decided that now was as good a time as any to pack the kids up and visit my cousins & aunt in Ft. Worth. Jimmy planned on taking Payton for spring break week anyway so I thought I would save him a drive & head there ourselves. I have to admit it was partially because I had never been away from her a whole week and wanted to be able to drop in and sneak a peek periodically. So, we packed our bags Monday night & headed out Tuesday afternoon. The girls did well on the drive & I navigated myself through Arlington & Ft. Worth like a pro ;). We were going to hit up the ZOO on Wednesday but it turns out half price day the week of spring break is mayhem & we weren't THAT eager to see the animals with 5 kids in tow afterall! We mainly just hung out with my cousin Becky & her kiddos. Did some shopping with my aunt & my other cousin Stephanie & her girls. This was a treat because we don't see them often! Beck & I have always been close so not really doing much of anything but hanging out works for me. We took the kiddos (minus my sweet Payton unfortunately) to castle park and they had a BLAST!

Taylor can't get enough of the slide!

Araseli loved to swing!

Sweet Seth, posing on the playground

Silly girls Samantha & Sesilia clowning around on the slide.

*Sesilia & Araseli's Daddy (my cousin's husband Rob) is a Chaplain for the U.S. Army and we're so proud of him too! He will be deploying in the near future as well so please keep the Cook family on your prayer list!*

Some time Wednesday afternoon I decided I wanted to make the 12 hour drive to Fort Leonardwood, MO to catch a glimpse of my husband. We were told he wouldn't be able to stay with me but I thought eh, what the heck, even just a kiss is worth it to me. My mother didn't want me to drive because she knows I have navigation issues and was sure I would end up in New York or something instead! lol So, I log on to check out flight options. $450 roundtrip!?!?! Holy moly, maybe I won't be going afterall! That's what I figured the WHOLE trip would cost! So, then Becky informs me she has a friend who can put me on the fly for free list! Whhhhhhhat!?!?! I didn't know there was such a thing but I'm gung ho! Just have to pay the fees $40 each way. SWEET! So I call in a rental car favor next. A little discount helps alot-thanks pal! Now I get to looking at hotels. $120 a night? I can't do that! Then I remembered a friend saying I could stay on base in guest housing! yay! I look up the # and give them a call to make a reservation. They have nothing for Friday but can get me in Sat & Sun for $40 a night! Awesome let's do it! My mother happened to be off all weekend anyway so it just seemed like everything was lining up perfectly for my trip! I met my mother in Abeline Thursday morning to drop off Taylor because she worked that night and my flight was leaving DFW at like 6:00 friday morning. Becky dropped me off at the airport at 4:00 because the only drawback to flying free is that you have to fly standby. I made it on the plane with no trouble at all after only 2 hours of sleep and arrived in St. Louis by 10:30ish. After getting my bags, I made my way to the Enterprise counter and hitched a shuttle to pick up my rental car. I then made the 2 hour drive to Ft. Leonardwood with sheer excitement keeping me awake. I arrived on base by 12:30 and decided to check out the PX to kill some time while I waited for Dave to finish with his daily duties. An excruciating 2 hours later, he sent a txt saying he was in the cab from his barracks to meet me at the PX. I'm pretty sure I almost turned a back flip as I raced out to the car. I didn't want to make a big dramatic emotional scene so I just pulled the car up front to greet him. When I turned the corner, there he was. It was like I fell in love all over again. I wanted to jump out of the car and into his arms but I calmly gave him a little hug and kiss when he got into the car instead. He had a bag with him and the best news ever! He would be able to stay with me all wknd but would have to make nightly checkin's at midnight. WORKS FOR ME! We drove off base to grab a bite to eat at the local cracker barrel while we killed another hour or so before we could check in. The rest of the evening was kind of a blur-I was soooooooo excited! I remember having dinner at an adorable lil' 50's style route 66 diner and soaking in the jacuzzi tub in our room but not much else. At midnight, I drove him back to his barracks for his checkin. They were AWFUL. Looked like something out of a horror film. Only the building they were staying in was lit. The other buildings were abandoned. It was cold & rainy and in a heavily wooded area. The roads surrounding the buildings were dirt & gravel and the only sounds you could hear was the wind whistling and the creaking of the old buildings.

(not a very good picture from my phone but it was seriously pitch black with the exception of a few dim street lights)

I sat there in the car alone on edge for about 15-20 mins expecting to be greeted by some ghosts of soldiers past but finally Dave was back in the car and we headed back to the hotel. I DO remember falling asleep in his arms and for the first time in a month sleeping through the whole night. The next day, we woke up fairly early, went downstairs for breakfast, and got ready for the day. Dave's mom & stepdad were driving down to see us for a few hours (they live in IL about 2.5 hours away). We checkout out of our hotel and took them on base to grab a few ARMY souvenirs for them, some t-shirts, & teddy bears for the girls then we headed to lunch. After lunch we said goodbye and went to check into the base housing. As soon as we pulled up I knew it was gonna be bad. The hallway smelled awful. There were stains on EVERYTHING, beer caps on the floor, mildew in the shower, and a HUGE gap under the door so we could see in or out by sticking our head there. We could also hear EVERYTHING in the hall as if we were in the same room. AWFUL. I said I would bear it because $40 is $40 and as long as we were together things would be fine. That lasted about an hour. We wanted to take a nap but felt dirty and itchy the second we lay down so we packed back up and called the hotel to see if we could have our room back! lol We returned the keys on post and luckily we got our $40 back! We napped in the hotel room, took another bath, and just enjoyed being together for a few hours before meeting up with some of Dave's "buddies" for a night on the town. The guys were really cool and reassured me that although they had tried to corrupt Dave, he was "incorruptible" and all he ever did was talk about the kids & I. We had a great time and I got to fall asleep in his arms AGAIN.

my good looking husband in our hotel room

<3>

Sunday we decided to lay low and just hang out all day in the hotel. That night we went to a neighboring town to see "she's out of my league" then picked up some dinner on our way back. We talked, cried (well, I cried, Dave just held me), and watched tv for a bit before we fell asleep in each other's arms. Monday we woke up early because Dave had to report for duty. He held me as we lay in bed talking because we knew it would be our last day for this. I took him back to base and waited for him to call while I did some of his laundry at the hotel (can't even get out of that on vacation! lol) We had lunch at the PX & then I took him back to his barracks to say goodbye. My flight was leaving St. Louis that night and I needed to leave base by 3. Dave was getting on a bus for Mississippi at 2. We said a short but sweet and meaningful goodbye in front of the car I'll save the details for us. I'm getting emotional thinking of it. I sat in the car crying as I watched him disappear around the corner. I wasn't sure when I would see him again. I pulled myself together and begun driving. On the road, I get a call from Becky who says, the flight is full and there is NO way I'm getting on it. I call enterprise thinking maybe I will just drive to Ft. Worth and return it there but, they don't allow 1 way rentals. So, I snag a hotel in St. Louis for the night and decided to catch the 6:00 a.m flight the next morning. At 3:45 a.m I return the rental car and hop on a shuttle for the airport. It's packed ALREADY. It takes me 45 mins to check in, check my bag, and get through security. When I get to my gate, there isn't an empty seat and I'm thinking, this can't be good. It wasn't. The plane was full I would have to wait for the next one. But, that one was full too. The next one wasn't looking promising either. If you know me very well, you know that by this time I am in a full on panic! I haven't seen my kids in 5 days, I just left my husband, I can't get a flight home, and have had little to no sleep. I just wanted to get home to Taylor. I knew Payton was fine & having a blast with her cousins but Taylor had NEVER been away from me for more than 12 hours and I was DYING to see her. I looked into flying directly to Midland and thought I would worry about getting my car the next day but all flights had a connecting DALLAS flight! There's a flight at noon but only 3 open seats and 7 people on standby. I'm not getting on that one either so Becky is forced to pay for a flight on another airline. I have 20 mins to hop a shuttle to the Southwest terminal and check in. I make it in the nick of time and safely make it to Dallas but with yet another issue. Southwest does not fly in or out of DFW, they fly only into Lovefield. However, my bags had been checked with American Airlines. I went to Lovefield and my bags went to DFW. After sorting the whole mess out, I grab Payton and my car and begin the 4.5 hour drive home with 2 hours of sleep under my belt. The drive felt horribly long. I was so excited to be with my kids that the night without Dave wasn't awfully unbearable. I even let the 2 monkeys sleep with me so I wasn't alone. Last night however, the loneliness of reality settled back in & I cried because, I couldn't smell him anymore. Once in Mississippi, we learned that he would more than likely be deploying the 1st week of May or somewhere in the last 2 weeks of April. He will get to come home for 3 days to say goodbye to the girls & I a week or so beforehand. Just checked the flight prices, another $450-JOY! lol Worth every penny though. So all in all, I spent waaaaaaaay more $ than I had planned and will not be allowed to leave the house for a few weeks but we had an incredible, unforgettable, romantic, overall amazing weekend and I would pay ANY amount to relive it again.

the Lord gives me strength, peace, & home improvement plans

Oh what a whirlwind March has been thus far! I'm happy to report that I am doing much better since my last post. Oh I still miss Dave very much and don't get me wrong, I still have my emotional disaster moments but overall I will say I am learning to adjust my way of life accordingly. We still don't have the deployment details but from what is being said thus far, it's looking like it will be within the next few weeks or so. Even before Dave left, I struggled with organization and time management. With 2 kids, the cakes, the photography, ballet, cooking, cleaning, playdates, and the rest that comes with adulthood, I don't have much time in between chores and events to spare. Now that Dave is gone, it seems almost impossible to get everything done. Since having kids I have never really taken time out for me. Because, let's be honest, with that whole list of "to-do's", there isn't much time to make myself "pretty" now is there? I decided alot of my depression was sort of stemming from the fact that I am not really known as Lori anymore but more so known as Dave's wife, or Payton & Taylor's mommy. With Dave being gone, I felt like half of my identity went with him. Thus I decided it was time for a transformation. I decided I needed to take care of myself. Physically, emotionally, mentally, & spiritually. To do this, I was going to need to better utilize my space and time. I started by making a commitment to work out daily. I don't have a gym membership and my schedule varies daily so I have been doing various things on the wii fit, taking my kids for long walks, running when I get the chance, and some yoga. We haven't had insurance for a year and so since the military is now covering our medical bills in exchange for kidnapping my husband, I decided to fully take advantage of these benefits. I made an appointment with my Dr. to discuss a few health concerns I had including my depression issues and it turns out I am a hormonal mess. Although, I am not a fan of anti-depressants, I decided at this time in my life, I needed all the help I can get and oh I feel the difference already! I made appointments to have my nails & toes done, hair cut, and eyebrows waxed. All things I hadn't treated myself to in 2 years! I vowed to read my bible everyday, even if only one tiny little scripture, I get my daily bread in. I also decided that if I could finally get myself and my home organized, I would have more time to enjoy it and my children. So, I have stayed up until the wee hours of the morning for weeks now clearing through the kids closets, my closet, the kitchen, living room, and anywhere else excess junk may be hiding. Bags & bags of clothing and toys are ready to be delivered to goodwill next week and slowly but surely, I am turning this place around. I bought some shelving for the living room because I have a TON of picture frames and nowhere to display them. Now the faces of my friends and family surrounds me. I bought office supplies to organize my desk area and a corner desk to better utilize my computer and office supply space. I also decided that since we live in a 3 bedroom home, have 2 kids, a ton of toys, and buckets of homeschool curriculum that I needed to somehow find a way to organize all of this STUFF. I decided my best bet was to turn our dining room into a playroom/schoolroom. It probably sounded like a crazy idea when I started but I thought, eh, how often do I entertain more than 4 people at once anyway right? So I did some rearranging and moved the dining table into the kitchen which works out well because it was sort of 50's diner themed anyway and goes quite well in there. Next I purchased storage bins, and cubby hole shelving to line the walls and organize all of Payton's school workbooks, her board games, craft supplies, crayons, and other activities. I used a labeler (my new favorite toy) so that each item is clearly identified! :) Taylor loves to look at books and be read to but she often destroys good books if she gets her hands on them so I took all the board books that she CAN'T destroy and moved them from our huge hallway library to a bottom shelf in the playroom so she can look at them whenever she wants and I don't have to worry about taping pages together later! I moved the kitchen & marketplace out of Payton's room and into the new "playroom" because truthfully, it's Taylor's FAVORITE thing to play with anyway. I moved the big desk that Payton was using for school out because she has an adorable little table that she can use as a desk now that she isn't using an ancient computer and has now taken over my pink laptop. When she's not using the laptop, it can easily be stashed to the side for emergency tea party purposes. My biggest concern was finding a way to sort of make it look like it's own room instead of part of the living room. I considered having a wall built but that seemed a bit drastic. So I instead purchased some inexpensive shelves from wal-mart and created a sort of mock half wall. This way, I have extra storage on the living room side for my scrapbooking crap, books, picture frames, and knick-knacks, and the playroom is sort of it's own room! I left a small walkway in between the shelves for easy entrance/exit that can easily be blocked off with a baby gate to keep a certain mischievous 1 year old contained should I need to. So far, it has been a magnificent addition to our home. Without even blocking them in there, they played for hours. I was even able to take a long shower and Taylor never once made a peek-a-boo appearance with my shower curtain! That's a 1st! lol

OR-GA-NIZED

Lotsa FUN!

TaDA!

I still have a few more projects before the "playroom" is complete. I need to finish painting Payton's table black. It's a really hideous pastel blend at the moment and if you know me, I am NOT a pastel person. It's cute but does in no way shape or form mesh with the rest of the house. I'm also commissioning my mother to make some curtains for the back windows. I need a new rug because, although I LOVE the one that is in there, it's really old and getting kinda dingy :( I also thought it would be fun to paint the back of the black shelves with chalkboard paint so the girls can doodle on them whenever they want.

Won't be taking any pictures of the updated living room until I solve the whole furniture dilemma but that's a whole 'nother post!

I'm utilizing my time without my husband to make myself feel better. I'm missing him more than I knew it was possible to miss someone but, I'm laying it down at God's feet, it's his burden now and not mine. He gives me comfort when I'm alone and lots of hair-brained home-improvement ideas to keep me entertained for the next year! lol

adjusting

This week has been tough for the kids and I. I'm the kind of person that needs some time to adjust and reflect on things and with kids, you just don't really get to have that adjustment period. Their lives-their schedules go on like normal and I don't really have a choice but to keep on trucking for them. If I were alone I would let myself be unrealistically depressed for at least a full week. I would sleep in (if I could sleep at all), maybe drink a lil', be with friends, and just concentrate on taking care of ME for a while. I don't sleep-AT ALL and Taylor hasn't slept well this week either. I think she has another tooth coming in! It seems like just when I feel I'm exhausted enough to crawl into bed, Taylor wakes up screaming, refusing to go back to sleep. She makes her way to my bed where she still wakes up every hour or so. By the time I'm in a deep sleep, it's 7 a.m and she's ready to go! I want to nap a few times throughout the day but with 1 of them ALWAYS awake during the day, it doesn't seem possible. I'm under all this stress and normally I'm a pretty positive person. NORMALLY, I can find the silver lining somewhere, or rely on my faith to get me through but right now I just don't feel real positive. I feel like I'm in the dark entirely. Like my head is going to explode at any second and even more disturbing, I don't seem to care. I'm feeling alot of things I don't particularly care to feel. Pain, anxiety, anger, depression, and resentment just to name a few. How did I get here? This dark place, is there light at the end of the tunnel. Not that I can see, all I CAN see is the darkness. It has begun to consume me. I have become ONE with the blackness. How do I make the night turn to day. How can I remember what sunlight feels like. It seems like this cold darkness is all I have ever known. I'm afraid but of what, I'm not real sure. I feel like I'm not living just kind of existing. Okay maybe I'm being dramatic. Maybe not. My best friend is not here with me. I almost hear him calling me from the other room sometimes. I can smell his aftershave in the bathroom. I turned onto our street and saw his truck in the driveway and for just a second forgot he was gone. I got excited, and felt my foot push on the gas pedal a little harder. I sped up to get home because I had to get to him. Then I remembered. It's only been a week. How am I going to live a whole year without him? I feel so all alone and I want nothing more than for this to have all been a bad nightmare. I should be thankful. He's not dead right? And, it's only a year-the last year passed so quickly. If I could just stop the nightmares. If I could just get used to sleeping in our big empty bed alone. One week at a time. This week was brutal but tell me it will get easier! I think I'm still in shock. I guess this all just kind of snuck up on me. seemed like February was further away. The waiting isn't over. He's back in the Army now but maybe there is still hope. Until I get the deployment details I will cling to that HOPE!

my heart is stuck at Ft. Benning!

I don't often feel speechless. Heck, normally I will talk to a wall if there is no one else around but tonight I feel like there's nothing more to talk about than how consumed with sadness I am. I dropped Dave off at the airport yesterday morning to report for duty in GA. Happy freakin' Valentine's Day! I don't think I have ever felt so awful in my entire life. I'm not usually one who gets to wrapped up in the whole Valentine's day thing because only ONE big day of love a year doesn't seem so great to me. I prefer to dispense my love evenly throughout the year ;) It was just so terrible because Dave and I have never spent more than 12 hours apart and missing him is so unbearable. Reading people's facebook status updates about the wonderful times they had with thier husbands/boyfriends just made his absence that much worse. My best friend is gone. There isn't anyone around to slap my butt in the kitchen and irritate me! lol I don't have any desire to sleep in our bed because it just seems to big and lonley without him holding me. I miss his forehead kisses and even though I got to talk to him and pray with him before bed, hearing "goodnight beautiful" over the phone wasn't quite as great as when it's accompanied with a kiss and a cuddle. I wore his shirt to sleep last night because it smelled like him. I smell his aftershave in the bathroom. If it feels this awful with him in another state how will I deal with another country? Keep my sweet soldier in prayer because I don't think I can handle deployment. Don't have any current pictures of him in Uniform but here's a very old one. I love you baby and I'm so very proud to be your wife. Uncle Sam, please let my husband come home to his wife and kids ASAP! kthx

Active Duty

When Dave and I met 2 years ago, he had just been discharged from the Army. Even though I didn't really know him through the Army years, I have always been very proud of my soldier. Even though, I didn't experience the effects of him being in Iraq, just seeing the pictures, and reading the letters to/from family brings me to tears. Just thinking of him in the midst of all this danger makes me physically ill. So even though I have always declared being a proud Army wife, I never really wanted to re-visit that era in his life. Yesterday my mother in law called to inform me that we had a package from the Army that had been delivered to her house. We often get mail over there so I said, we would swing by and pick it up after dinner. When we got there, she handed Dave a manila envelope from the Army, it had been sent priority overnight so we knew it wasn't GOOD news. As he started reading the 1st sheet, I grabbed the 2nd identical sheet and begin to read. I didn't quite understand what I was reading the first time around. I think my heart was beating in my chest too loudly to think clearly. Were my worst nightmares coming true? I took a deep breath and read it through again. "You are relieved from your present reserve status and ordered to report for a period of active duty" blah...blah...blah "report date: February 14" happy valentine's day, blah...blah...blah "deployment" blah...blah...blah "400 days" blah... blah... blah. The room started spinning. Dave was talking, his parents were talking, the room, WAS SPINNING. I put the paper down and walked to the other room hoping it would all go away. When I returned the room continued to spin and Dave put his arm around me and lead me to the truck. I don't remember saying bye to his parents. We won't know the exact orders until he reports for duty in February but if he is found to meet "deployment medical standards" he will likely be spending a year in Afghanistan. IF he meets medical standards that is. Dave has a piece of metal in his head/neck from Iraq and so I'm praying at this point that's enough to keep him out of deployment. The next 60 days will be agonizing until we know what is going to happen for sure. Even him leaving the day after his birthday to be there on Valentines day for testing/processing breaks my heart because besides the obvious, he will also be missing Taylor's 1st birthday on the 17th. If he gets deployed she will be 2 when he gets home and Payton will be in Kindergarten. I will have raised our kids for a whole year by myself! I'm so devastated right now. We have only spent ONE night apart in almost 2 years now and the thought of sleeping without him for a year brings my physical pain. I feel so sick right now. Please keep us in your prayers and PRAY that the metal in his head is enough to keep him home with the kids and I. My heart goes out to all the mothers who have their husbands overseas. There is just a possibility that my husband will go and I'm already crying non stop!

Astro turf-itis

I like to pretend that I'm an optimistic person but in reality I am quite the opposite. In fact I rarely even view the glass as half empty. Most of the time I feel like I served a tall glass of KoolAid and turned my back for just a second to serve a snack. When I turn back around to grab my beverage, I find that someone snuck up and drank the whole thing! I'm really trying to become an overall more positive person but lately I've really been struggling with what I call "AstroTurf-itis". I know what you're thinking... THIS woman just makes up her own psychological diseases! Well, yes, I guess I do. This is a good one though. I based this complex on a MySpace blog I wrote a few years back. It basically states that if you look across the street and think the grass is greener on the other side, it is probably AstroTurf. By this I just mean that everyone has their share of issues in their own life. It just may be that the tenant of that house across the way is envious of your flowerbeds blissfully unaware that they are filled with silk flowers. Lately, I've been looking around here thinking I need new furniture. Our neighbors got new furniture recently, I saw the Lacks delivery truck unloading it last week. I immediately started feeling sorry for myself. We really need more seating in our living room. Why can't WE afford new furniture? The Lord always has his subtle way of putting me in my place. I remembered later while curled up on our tiny sofa with Dave that my neighbor's husband works overseas. She practically raises their 3 children alone. She is probably sitting on her new love seat ALONE watching TV wishing that her husband was there to cuddle with her. I want a bigger car, I complain about it frequently. My car just isn't big enough for 2 car seats, a stroller, and groceries. I recently saw a woman and her 4 young children waiting at the bus stop with bags of groceries. At least I HAVE a car. It may be small, it may not be luxury, but it's fairly new and it runs. It gets me from point A to point B-what do I have to complain about? Some friends of the family bought a new house. An AMAZING new house in an AMAZING neighborhood. They seem to have the perfect life but I know her husband is having an affair. He won't touch his own wife. They sleep in separate bedrooms of their AMAZINGLY huge new home. My house is nice. It's not fabulous, and it still needs some work but, it's in good condition, in a good neighborhood, and most importantly my marriage is amazing. I trust my husband fully and he trusts me. We are more in love everyday. We have a strong solid relationship. Sure we fight but over trivial pointless things nothing life altering. I hear myself complain about Taylor crying non stop. She's such a difficult child I say quite often. I love her with all my heart don't get me wrong and I really just can't get enough of her adorable little face but sometimes she frustrates me enough that I actually COMPLAIN about her! What the heck! She could scream all day and all night for a year and I would still be thankful for her very existence. I know a woman who can't have children. She's miscarried 6 times and her doctor has finally said, enough is enough, you CANNOT carry a child full term-it's time to stop trying and explore other means of having a child. I cannot even begin to imagine that pain. I praise God daily for 2 amazing, wonderful, gorgeous, healthy children. Taylor can scream all she wants-she is still an incredible blessing. My mother once asked me if I was jealous that my sister could afford a fancy private school for my niece and I couldn't afford to send Payton to that same school. I almost laughed in her face. Am I jealous of her? Really? I home school my child. I taught her everything she knows. I get to spend ALL day with her. If you ask me, she should be the one who is jealous! No no... I'm not saying she's a bad mom for working and putting her child in an actual school I'm just saying I don't feel like Payton is missing out on anything. She learns everyday, she gets one on one attention, her teacher is ALWAYS on hand, she has playdates, soccer, and ballet for social interaction. She doesn't miss A THING! So now my friends here it comes... the point is as humans, we are all so incredibly ungrateful-and don't pretend to be the exception to the rule. We are all guilty of standing in our yards (metaphorically speaking) and pointing out how green our neighbors astro turf grass is, how much shade that huge plastic oak tree in HER yard provides, how HER silk flowers seem to bloom year round. Maybe just maybe we should look down from time to time, kick off our shoes, and enjoy how soft and cushy OUR own grass is. Fertilizer and lots of water is the key to a lovely lawn. Read the word of God and learn to be more appreciative of what YOU have. Forget all about what SHE/HE has. I spend more time worrying about money and matierial things than absolutely necessary. Sometimes I forget all that I already have and all that has been promised to me.

Matthew 6:25 "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Livin' on redbull

It seems these days I don't have much time to blog let alone eat or breathe! I'm juggling the kids and I'm overall just loosing my mind! Ballet, Soccer, more ballet, playdates, home school. Eeeesh. I'm pooped-I can barley keep up with it all! I'm pretty much living on sugar-free redbull for the past few weeks. On top of the crazy schedules my kids keep, I also have to juggle my 10,000 sidejobs. Cakes, Photography, Passion parties-OH MY! We are also gearing up for a garage sale so I have cleaned out each and every room and now I'm pretty sure I can't even walk in my garage. I feel so overwhelmed with boxes that I don't even know where to begin sorting it. I have half a mind to just call someone to haul it all away but with the holidays around the corner I could certainly use some extra $$$! So, I'm running around with the kids during the day, trying to get my chores done at night, and editing pictures in between! The photography thing is picking up. I certainly didn't think that I was good enough to make a career of it yet but, I seem to improve a little with each shot and am getting calls for holiday bookings. Thank you LORD! Check out my website to see what I have been up to: www.onlinepictureproof.com/pieceofcakephotography. My ex-husband moved to Dallas this week so I will also be working on adjusting to new schedules as far as his visits with Payton are concerned. On a lighter note, I visited the pumpkin patch 1 too many times last week! I wanted to get some fall pictures of my girls so we went out Tuesday. Taylor and some friends had a playdate there on Thursday, we met my sister and her kiddos there for more pics Friday, and some friends on Saturday to snap some pics of their darling new baby Aiden in his pumpkin costume. I haven't edited Aiden's pics yet or my nieces but here are some of my favorites of my kiddos!

oh and you MUST see Taylor with her friends Aubrey & EmmaNicole. These 3 definetly drew a crowd!

off to bed because my redbull is starting to wear off!