We all go through life wanting more. Wanting the house or the car or even the marriage our neighbor has. We all have complaints about our own lives but my question is, what are we doing to fix our own issues? Of course I know that we can't always change the circumstances in our lives. We can't change the way people treat us or the maturity level of certain EX factors in our lives. But we can change ourselves. We can change the way we look at the world around us and the way we treat others in our lives.
What in the world am I getting at here? Well, for instance, my mother will literally complain to me about gaining weight while eating a cookie. Okay okay, I do the same thing. But bottom line is, I control the foods and "snacks" I put in my body. ONLY I control the amount of exercise I get per week. If I stuff my face with cookies every night and don't make time for a walk after dinner, I'm clearly not going to get any thinner. I fully believe in the power of prayer but sitting around praying that God will make me skinny isn't going to make me a super model. You want to loose some weight, make a conscious decision to live a healthier life style. Don't have time to squeeze the gym in your busy schedule? You don't have to! Adjust your eating habits and take the kids on a little nature walk a few times a week. They'll love the extra distraction free time with you and you'll love the results you see!
I constantly hear people complain about their jobs, their bosses, their co-workers, their paycheck. Well my friends, we live in a pretty fabulous country where we are absolutely free to create our own destiny! Pick up the classifieds and find something NEW. Constantly whining and complaining isn't going to get you a pay raise, make your co-workers work harder, or turn that ass hole boss of yours into mr. nice guy! I realize that you need to pay the bills and not everyone has the luxury of going to a job that they absolutely ADORE while still bringing in a decent pay but, you have to weigh some pros and cons and you don't know what's out there until you start looking right? You may not always LOVE what you do but you certainly don't have to dread it! Change your destiny, grab life by the horns! You are intelligent and capable of anything you put your mind to!
Hate your house? It's just not as big and nice as the girls you run around with is it? Start by having a look at your life and that other gals. Are they a 2 income family or is she a stay at home like you? Did she marry a brain surgeon while you married a janitor? You laugh but really, we don't all have the same income people!!! Is there something wrong with marrying a janitor? Of course not! If that's what makes him happy, that's what should make you happy and you'll have to live with that budget. Don't like the income, well frolic out and get yourself a high paying job sot hat you can afford the house that will make you happy. Let me tell you this though. A house WON'T bring you happiness. You my friend should focus on making the house you have a home. Take pride in what you do have because I promise if little miss brain surgeons wife is your true friend, she doesn't care if you don't have a mansion. You don't have to have a lot of money to make things look nice in your house! Check out Ross and Big Lot's even. Put some time into garage sale shopping, you would be amazed at what a can of spray paint can transform! I have friends who live in tiny one bedroom apartments that are decorated insanely adorable that I feel jealous! You should always remember that no matter what horrible unjust living conditions you feel like you're in, there is always someone who has it worse. Take a little drive down to some unsavory parts of town and you will quickly grow to appreciate all that you do have. We can't all afford the mansions but we can make our houses unique and fabulous in their own little ways :)
Unhappy in your marriage? You're husband doesn't pay any attention to you, doesn't help around the house or with the kids, isn't very nice, gained some weight after you got married, is beating you, having an affair, doesn't seem to love you anymore? Take a step back for a second and examine yourself. What are YOU doing to contribute to the problems in your marriage and what can YOU do to make them better? Are YOU really meeting all HIS needs as a wife? Are you really being nice to him? Are you cooking well balanced meals for him? Are you expressing love to him in a way that he can understand? It takes 2 to tango kids and odds are you're failing marriage is not just one sided. Can all relationships be mended? Do you deserve to be mentally, physically, or verbally abused? Absolutely NOT! You guys need some professional help and he has to want to change. If he isn't open to change, you need to value yourself enough to walk away. "But I'm a stay at home mom and haven't worked in years, if I leave my abusive husband, I'll have to get a job" you say. Ummm... yes you will and it will be awfully scary at first but you will adjust and you will feel such a freedom when you're not living in fear. Trust me, I know! Will it be work to keep yourself and your husband in check? Of course it will but nobody said marriage was for the weak. Trust me, it's no walk in the park but all great things in your life are worth fighting for right? You're marriage is important. You're spouse is important. Turn to God for guidance and strength when it feels like you can't go on. He's listening and won't leave you on your own. Don't give up and throw in the towel quickly. It takes time to alter behaviors on both of your behalves and changes don't happen overnight. Be patient with yourself and your spouse. You're marriage will never be 100% easy sailing 100% of the times. You'll have your highs and lows but this too shall pass.
You're children driving you mad? They're ill behaved, have an attitude problem, are seeing the wrong boy? What role are you playing as a parent to contribute to these behaviors? Children are not just born bad I assure you. I have 2 very different children living under my roof. Payton (almost 7) is easy as can be. I rarely have to discipline her and when on the rare occasion she does need discipline, I know that showing her she has upset me is the only punishment she needs. All I have to do is look at that child the wrong way and she knows she's done something wrong and is eager to rectify the behavior. Taylor on the other hand (my 2.5 yr old) is difficult and stubborn. Spankings will make her cry but 10 seconds later, she's back to doing whatever bad behavior landed her in the hot seat to begin with. You can threaten to throw away her toys if she doesn't pick them up and she will gladly bring you a trash bag. I struggle with how to discipline her because she just doesn't honestly care if she's upset me with the behavior. lol The bottom line is EVERY kid is different and they will each need to be treated differently. Do I mean I love them differently? Of course not. I love them both more than anything else on this planet but, I show them love and discipline in different ways because that's what they need to grow as individuals. I encourage you to read "The Five Love Languages for children" if you haven't already to determine your child's love language. Because, loving 2 very different children the same way, can cause you to neglect the core need for love that one child might have. While you're reading, if you haven't yet read the original "Five Love Languages" to determine your spouses love language as well as your own, I highly recommend you grab it as well. I'm no parenting expert but children look to us for guidance and examples. What we are living will greatly affect the adults that our children later become. It's true I tell you! If you're in an abusive marriage with children in tow what message are you sending to your sons and daughters? You're telling little Johnny that it's okay to treat his wife that way. Hitting women is acceptable. You're telling little Mary Sue that men hit women and that's okay so she should go out and find someone to treat her that way too. Are you constantly cussing in front of your children? Don't be surprised when they quickly pick up the same language. You don't take the time to say yes ma'am, no ma'am, thank you, and please to the other adults you interact with? What makes you think your children are going to? Dads, did you know that the way you love your daughters and their mother can greatly affect the ideas about relationships and marriage that she will carry into adulthood? Did you know that her intimacy issues later in life might very well have stemmed from your own? A lot of us fumble around in life looking for our purpose. We think that just one tiny person can't make a difference in the world. But I will tell you as parents, we ARE changing the world. By loving and raising these tiny little people to bloom into upstanding, polite, compassionate citizens we are absolutely making a difference for the future.
My point in all this is that life is not perfect. It doesn't always go the way we expected. Life throws us curveballs. It's a winding road. God is absolutely in control but we have to allow him to open doors for us. Remember, you are in the drivers seat of your own life. God has given you the free will to change your circumstances. God wants you to be happy and healthy. He wants you to spread compassion and radiate the joy that you feel when he lives inside you. Grab hold of the steering wheel and let the word of God be your map.
